I Just Want You

photo by: Celeste Villanueva

A lot of people might not know this because I don't vocalize it (ha), but I love to sing.

I love musicals, you'll always catch me singing in the car, I'll be singing in the shower (loudly and not always on key), and often times I'll find myself turning everything I'm doing into a song.

It brings me that much joy.

So, I especially love when I get the opportunity to sing just for Jesus during Mass, adoration or random p&w moments with friends. There's just something about praising God through music that I just absolutely love.

And so, surprise, surprise: I'm here to declare that I've been stuck singing this one worship song that I'm absolutely in love with.

You may or may not have heard this one, but it's by a guy named Cody Carnes, and the song is called "Nothing Else;" which I heard for the first time a few weeks ago during an adoration event held by Catholic Christian Outreach, in Vancouver.

Quick side note: I have always been in love with adoration since the first time I was introduced to this practice of worship in Toronto a few years ago. I've been hooked ever since. The silence of personal prayer, the visible and tangible interaction with the Lord. Being able to cry - like really ugly cry - and just pour out your whole heart to Jesus as if you're the only two people in the room. And of course, the beautiful music that the worship team picks that's always perfectly fitting to what your heart needs to hear. I love it all. Adoration has always introduced me to my favourite worship songs (e.g. "O Come to the Altar", "Holy Spirit", "So Will I" - you know, the bangers), and has motivated me to use music more in my prayer life. And so this time, even in a different province, this summit did not disappoint.

That night at St. Patrick's in the middle of worship they played "Nothing Else" and I instantly fell in love. I fell in love with the words I saw on the projector, how it sounded, what it meant to me. It was something that I needed to hear and be reminded of in terms of my commitment to Jesus.
I believe that there are some songs that Jesus uses to speak directly to our unique hearts. Almost as if you were reading scripture, certain lyrics are His voice speaking truth into your heart. For me, it's like listening to His melodic voice serenade me, or me serenading Him.

Once after adoration was over I was still captivated by that song, hearing the words and melody replay over and over in my head. Since it was on repeat in my brain I decided to look up the music video a couple days. Sure enough, the lyrics pierced my heart the same way as before:

I'm caught up in Your presence

I just want to sit here at Your feet

I'm caught up in this holy moment

I never want to leave

Oh, I’m not here for blessings

Jesus, You don’t owe me anything

More than anything that You can do

I just want You

 "I just want You." 

How often do we say this to Jesus? How often do we just sit at His feet in prayer or adoration, or Mass or even in life, and ask for nothing more than to just be here in this moment; and have Him be present with us. How often do we ask for nothing but to have His heart dwell within ours.

And the truth is, Jesus' heart declares this exact message to us every moment of every day. He simply longs for us in our entirety; and we don't always have this same disposition towards Him.

I'll be the first to admit that a majority of my prayers are never just done in thanksgiving or to just spend time with Jesus. I'm always asking for something: strength in my trials, consolation for my suffering, healing and restoration for my body, protection for my family and others - the list goes on and on. I am always asking for something and the magnitude and multitude of asks are endless. "Heal my mother from her illnesses, bring my family back to the faith, just take me with You to paradise so I don't have to hurt so much anymore - 

and while those types of prayers are never done in vain, I sit here pondering; thinking about how often do I just thank Jesus for Who He is, and what He's already done for me. How He's saved me.
If I'm completely honest, it's not often; and that reality broke my heart (in a good way) with this song.
It's why I resonated so much with the following lyrics:

I'm sorry when I've just gone through the motions

I'm sorry when I've just sang another song

Take me back to where we started 

I open up my heart to You

I'm sorry when I've come with my agenda 

I'm sorry when I forgot that You're enough

Take me back to where we started

I open up my heart to You

We never instinctively think that our agendas or desires are things to repent for. After all, we have good intentions, right? But I realize that it takes a certain sense of humility to just kneel before the Lord as nothing more than His humble servant. And I recognize that more times than not we get carried away with the 'asks', and are only excited to be in His presence just so we can ask for the things we want. We forgot that our time spent with God is simply to just gaze lovingly at Him, while He gazes lovingly back at us. That is the heart of true worship and adoration. That is the heart of love: to just be in each other's presence with no terms or conditions or demands. To simply rest and be in Love.

When we go through the motions of prayer, worship or receiving the sacraments (especially when it comes to confession) our hearts forget what and Who we do it all for. Jesus does not want the love of a lifeless robot who displays the 'act' of loving Him. He wants the real deal. It's about asking yourself if you've been giving the 'real deal' type of love and devotion to Jesus, or if you've just been playing the part of His 'lover.'

The song continues on to repeat these verses and the chorus, and crescendos with simply repeating the words

I just want You

Nothing else, nothing else

Nothing else will do

I just want You

And while these lyrics repeat it's not without reason - I think it's because it emphasizes the urgency and necessity it is to live out these words in our daily lives. Do we recognize our need for Jesus in the same raw and vulnerable way? Do we say to Jesus "I just want You, nothing else, nothing else" every, single, day? Do we truly believe that nothing else will satisfy our hearts the way that only Jesus can? 

Today I just want you to listen to this song. Listen to the lyrics, read them aloud, and journal about them. Maybe the Lord is desiring to speak something into your heart today. Maybe quite literally, He needs to break our hearts for what's breaking His. Maybe we've been slipping away and fixating on solely our desires, our darkness, or our desperation for healing.

But today, Jesus just wants YOU. In fact, He wants you today and every day that follows.
That is His top priority: to love and care for you.

So will you re-make Him as your #1 priority? Will He be the only One you live for? Do you just want Him - and nothing else?

I can't answer these questions for you. But I encourage you to look within yourself, reflect, and then when you're ready, say these four words to Him:

                                                      I just want You.

Because I know, He wants you too.

Yours in Christ,

- C



Listen to Cody Carnes' "Nothing Else" here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG5kF-a42Cc&ab_channel=CodyCarnes