My Youth is Yours

photo by: ccelestediaz

For a while now, I've been obsessed with the fading of my youth. It's been a thorn in my side that has been a major cause of my sadness and grief these past few months and even years. Taking into account that I'm actually supposed to be at the peak of my youth since I'm 21, I have actually never felt older in my life.

In my mere 21 years on this planet I have endured numerous traumatic experiences, without fail, every single year. Most people will meet me without knowing this and simply comment that I'm 'insanely mature for my age,' but I can guarantee that I wasn't born this way. Maturity only comes at the expense of your youth.


I was forced to grow up at the age of 5 when my parents got divorced. Since then my fast-track to adulthood only accelerated at the speed of light. I only longed to please them and so I tried to be the best daughter, to not misbehave, and to remain quiet. And as the years went on, living like this, the less I felt like a child and the more I felt like a tiny adult. Sometimes I doubt that I have ever truly relished in the moments when I was a child, or if I ever acted like one. Sometimes I wonder if I've ever really known what it's like to be a child.

I think that's why it's so hard sometimes to feel or act like I am a child of God because I've never really known what that behaviour looks like, or what it entails. I've often asked myself what does it mean to simply be a child, and to feel the love that flows from that identity?

I stumbled upon a quote by Pope Francis when I was starting to write this blog post, and it spoke so much truth into my heart and obviously the Holy Spirit gave me the answer to that question.

"To be sons and daughters is the fundamental condition for knowing God's love, which is the ultimate source of this authentic miracle. In the soul of every child, although vulnerable, God places the seal of this love, which is the basis of his or her personal dignity, a dignity that nothing and no one can destroy."

- Pope Francis @ St. Peter's Square; Feb. 12, 2015

"To be sons and daughters is the fundamental condition for knowing God's love..." Do we know this? Do I know this? Maybe I did but I never realized the primacy of knowing this identity until reading those words. As a son or as a daughter this is the only reason why we'll ever know God's love, and why we receive it - unconditionally. I will only be able to truly grasp and know God and His love when I fully put on and recognize my identity as His beloved daughter - as simply 
His child. 


As a father loves his children simply because they are a part of himself, God our Father has made us in His image to love and cherish forever. 


He will always view us as His little ones. We can be secure in knowing that this dignity of ours as His children is also something that "nothing and no one can destroy" as Pope Francis tells us. How powerful is that. Until the end of time we remain children and we remain cared for. That's life-altering.



Going back to my present concern with the fading of my youth (e.g. seeing how tired my eyes are, noticing how sagged my face is, and feeling how it feels like I've lived a thousand lives in this body tired and broken body) it's all irrelevant because of His love. Because my identity stays eternally as a child of God, my youth in the Spirit never fades because I will never cease to be His daughter. There is nothing that I can do, or that life can do to me, that will erase my identity as simply a child, and simply His child. My soul remains in abundant life regardless of how my body feels or looks.


So although my appearance may change, and the disposition of my soul may continue to feel increasingly old, weary, and lifeless, I am made new every time I remind myself that I am simply a daughter of God, and every time I repent and turn back to the Father.

I am "Amata Filia" : A "Beloved Daughter." 

A daughter that cannot do things on her own.
A daughter that will always need help from The Spirit. 
A daughter that is renewed and given the chance at new life over and over again. 
A daughter that is loved regardless of how I look.


And these beautiful truths, are yours as well.


My beautiful brothers and sisters I ask and invite you to think about this today. Do you feel tired, broken and aged like me? Do you yearn for your youth or a second chance at it? Has life handed you so many trials in your youth and adolescence that you find it hard to simply be a child of God as you enter further into adulthood? 


Your youth is eternal. And as much as your youth is your own, it belongs to Him. Because of who you are to Him, you will always remain in your youth.
           
                                                                   - - - 

There's a song I love by Troye Sivan called "Youth," and there's a line within it that repeats throughout the song saying, "my youth is yours." I've always wondered what that actually meant... do we really give our youth away to someone, or something? 

In a way I guess, it's true. We give our youth away to things; maybe to mistakes; to new experiences and risks; and to new ideas and forms of what we think 'love' is. But now I know how I want to view this statement.

And I'm gonna turn it into a prayer. And it's gonna go like this:

Jesus, my youth is Yours. The childhood I've had, the lessons I've learned, the versions of myself that have faded over time, and the versions of myself that I'll continue to be as Your child - I offer them all up to you. Hold me as Your child when I start to forget who I am, and remind me of who I'll always be to You: Your beloved child eternally. My youth is Yours forever Jesus, in this life and the next. Amen.


I challenge you to pray this whenever you start longing for your youth or you start to feel the weight of the life you've been given.


Pray this prayer, blast "Who You Say I am" by Hillsong, and love the child you are.


You are good. You are worthy. You are beautiful. And you are loved.


Until next time my friends,
-C